Wednesday, March 5, 2008

The Johnny Mann Invasion

Posted By on Wed, Mar 5, 2008 at 4:00 AM

Jake Moore did not win the Bad 13 Challenge, but he gave bad music a run for its money. Here's his Bad 13 playlist, with his own notes in italcis.Worst CD EVER! By Jake More1. O Holy Night—Unknown Ahh…the joys of Christmas. I will spend the rest of my life hunting down this fabulous musician so that I can hug him.2. Wenn Ich Vergn, Gt Bin, Mufl Ich Singen—Comedian HarmonistsSanctioned by Hitler as truly GREAT music. Need I say more?3. A Groovy Kind of Love—Mrs. MillerI’m actually not in the mood anymore.4. Girl from Ipenema—MeditationOrgans and sand don’t mix.5. Highly Illogical—Leonard NimoyYes it is.6. Gevald! Di Bananas (Help! The Bananas!)—David MedoffA bad song to begin with…even worse in Yiddish7. Mah-Na, Mah Na—Artist UnknownDon’t wanna get this one stuck in your ear8. Heart Full of Soul—The Johnny Mann SingersThey told each other they sounded good…go figure9. Brazil—Fausto PepettiYes, organs CAN ruin everything10. Mrs. Robinson—Guy LombardoLove exists…in many forms11. The Official Hampster Dance Song—Hampton the HampsterNot to be confused with the unOFFICIAL hamster dance song12. Electric Youth—Debbie GibsonElectric Chair13. You’re the Top—Artist UnknownCan we even call this music?“O Holy Night” is pretty amazing. Maybe some poor fellow who was full of the Christmas spirit went to one of those places at the mall where you can record a song for twenty bucks and recorded it. I kind of liked “Wenn Ich Vergn, Gt Bin, Mufl Ich Singen” (note: I probably transcribed that wrong). The Comedian Harmonists, based on what I skimmed from this Wikipedia article, had Jewish members, so probably Hitler didn’t like them after all.I didn’t know anything about Mrs. Miller before this, but now you can know EVERYTHING.As far as the Johnny Mann Singers, I personally love this kind of bullshit white person music. That others may find it highly offensive is understandable. Such Wonder Bread-ification of beloved pop songs (see “The Girl from Ipenema”, “Mrs’ Robinson”, and “Brazil” from the rest of Jake More’s CD) is limp-dicked and devoid of soul, but also oddly soothing.The Hampster dance song is a great example of how out of touch I am with pop culture today. If this hybrid of teeny bopper club music and the original Chipmunks is pop culture today, in fact, please just gimme dusty old Johnny Mann Singers albums. The version of “You’re the Top” on here is sort of like Spike Jones, punctuated with sound effects like car horns and water dripping. Silly stuff.

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