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Comment Archives: stories: Columns & Blogs: Open Mic

Re: “Rethinking Cosby

Marsha Singer, it's predictable but still sad to see such nasty comments here in response to your essay. Greg starts out with an ad hominem (ad feminem?) attack. (Greg, Marcia's essay was not "mind numbing". Your mind was numb long before you read it.) Suzanne Smith's manifestly black-and-white thinking leads her to attack you for presenting a nuanced view. LAD's accusing you of defending rape shows how thoroughly her/his emotional response has distorted his/her understanding of what you really said.

While I disagree with your condemning and shaming of "condemning and shaming" (and encourage you to examine the irony of that), I otherwise appreciate your nuanced view, and I appreciate even more your willingness to state it publicly, knowing that you'd be attacked for it. As a frequently outspoken independent thinker (and recent Open Mic writer) myself, I can empathize!

Posted by Dixon Wragg on 08/27/2015 at 1:41 PM

Re: “Drive-Throughs Be Gone

here's something with low cholesterol you can order at in-n-out and get full for $2. order a grilled cheese sandwich and ask for double tomato,double lettuce,double pickle,double onion. it's like getting a salad for free and most of the meal is veggies.you might have to mention the "secret menu", to get it.

3 likes, 0 dislikes
Posted by Mahatma Jeeves on 08/23/2015 at 12:17 PM

Re: “Rethinking Cosby

I re-read your article and do want to take issue with one line. While I may have attempted to please and appease Cosby with his demands that I lose weight (in order to appear on camera as tv and film do add pounds to one's frame) and take the acting lessons he prescribed for the audition that never came, I never set out to seduce him or steal power from him for myself.

Posted by Patricia Steuer on 08/20/2015 at 3:21 PM

Re: “Rethinking Cosby

I am one of four women who live in the Bay Area and Sonoma County who have come forward with stories of our experiences of being assaulted and in some cases, drugged by Bill Cosby. I came forward in 2005 in support of Andrea Constand as a Jane Doe, willing to testify on her behalf. I agree with Ms. Singer that this is a cultural problem. I have been open about my part in what happened to me. And it happened at a time in my life (age 22) when I was looking for "love" - really approval - in all the wrong places. So that part of her article resonated with me. Still, what he did was wrong, a violation and without my consent.

I am embarrassed to admit that I only recently learned that the Equal Rights Amendment which was passed in 1972, was never ratified and is therefore NOT a part of our Constitution. If women in our culture do not have equal rights and protections, how can we effect change in the stranglehold the patriarchy has on our patterns of behavior? In my lifetime I never expected to see marriage equality. If marriage equality is the law of our land, why isn't there a law granting women equal rights, equal protections and equal pay? Many of us have been working diligently on a state by state basis to extend or abolish the statute of limitations on the reporting of adult sexual assault. But I doubt that these changes will have a lasting impact unless our new, changed, cultural 'normal' includes that all men AND WOMEN were created equal.

Posted by Patricia Steuer on 08/20/2015 at 8:11 AM

Re: “Rethinking Cosby

Everyone knows rape is violence. It's equally vile for this author to reframe it as an action by those who have "insecurities around their sexual prowess or need for closeness and nurturing." Defending rape, really??????????

0 likes, 1 dislike
Posted by LAD on 08/17/2015 at 2:47 AM

Re: “Rethinking Cosby

Grab the mike from that woman! Get the the hook-

2 likes, 1 dislike
Posted by big wave on 08/12/2015 at 9:29 PM

Re: “Rethinking Cosby

What an opportunity missed by those commenters who do not see a cause of how abuse can manifest and to take a hard and open "look-see" at the many causes of such abuse. Marcia Singer is not dismissing Bill Cosby for his actions but what she is writing about is to look at all the causes of this situation, with one in particular, whether it is conducted by an unconscious famous person or not. By unconscious I mean a person who does not live a life of self examination, looking for the essence of truth and respect for all and acting within the principles of such behavior.

She is simply pointing out how a woman can attract such unconscious people into her life through her own unconscious behavior and not fully integrating her own life and that includes her sovereignty over her own body. She is showing how woman have been led to give themselves away and that this is an example of how predominate this is in our culture. In the essence of this article she is NOT blaming the victims. She is saying how like energetic magnets we can attract destructive people. Read it through again with out knee jerk preconceived bias.

A woman or man can be involved in an abusive relationship by attracting subconsciously those people that commit abusive relationships instead of her/his healing internally the area where the abuse comes from at the core level and there by not attracting these people anymore. And by doing so one must be able to fully and completely forgive one's self for attracting those kinds of people and to understand deeply within to "forgive them for they know what they do". That does not mean these perpetrators should be slapped on the wrist and given a pass. What this article does mean that as a moral society we need to look at every thing and that includes self responsibility for those we attract that are basically vampires and to go deeper how our society actually upholds and encourages victim-perpetrator behavior and how we unconsciously support it ourselves.

1 like, 1 dislike
Posted by Dan Argraves on 08/12/2015 at 9:14 PM

Re: “Rethinking Cosby

This article is self serving and ridiculous. When talking about rape, there is not gray area. Shame on the author

3 likes, 2 dislikes
Posted by Suzanne Smith on 08/12/2015 at 9:51 AM

Re: “Rethinking Cosby

Any relation to Martin Singer, Cosby's pit bull attorney?

4 likes, 2 dislikes
Posted by Bonnie Upton on 08/12/2015 at 5:18 AM

Re: “Rethinking Cosby

This article gives the term "mind numbing" a new meaning. Geeze, get over yourself. I didn't read the name of the author but two sentences in it screamed of the bias of a dopey woman. Sure enough, it was. I'm just glad she's not my mother, people like that are the ones bringing up the next generation of neurotic basket cases that we all get to look forward to living with in society.

5 likes, 2 dislikes
Posted by greg on 08/12/2015 at 3:29 AM

Re: “The Fight for $15

Luis:

A great, big shout-out and thank you to you, the members of the North Bay Organizing Project and each and every community member who continues to fight, toil and press our Sonoma County "supes" to do more than merely pass a token, feeble, toothless living-wage ordinance - like the resolution which they passed at their regularly scheduled meeting back on Tuesday, June 9th, 2015.

I was in attendance at that meeting and gave a speech in which I urged immediate passage of a REAL living-wage ordinance and, also, that action be taken by them on a number of other issues with which this county is currently confronted and urged them to exercise true leadership on those numerous issues as well.

The measure of your success will be in your ability to channel your steel resolve, your indomitable courage, your abiding spirit and your passion for all things social justice into inspiring those who may be your detractors on this issue to confront and accept the fact that no one deserves to be paid less than 15 dollars an hour for performing often menial but necessary tasks - especially those who are providing caregiving services to the elderly and disabled in their own homes - and who, by doing so, are saving the County of Sonoma literally millions of dollars a year. And this fact was iterated by a paid professional consultant retained by the County of Sonoma itself!

I am proud to stand with you on this issue - which I consider to be one of the most pressing social-justice issues of our time.

Good luck to you - and may your commitment to this laudable cause ensure that you and your fellow activists will attain eventual victory.

(Oh. And a couple more things: Don't stop calling...and, above all, don't accept their lame excuses - including the one that "There's no money." Just look at their overinflated salaries and overbloated benefits packages for concrete proof and affirmation that there's plenty.)

Posted by Thomas Bonfigli on 08/06/2015 at 12:42 AM

Re: “Flag Waiving

Hey, Jim Bracco--
I'd like to thank you for several things:

1. Thanks for expressing your counter-argument. As an outspoken guy myself, I know how scary that can be sometimes.

2. Thanks for admitting that you endorse genocide. At least I think that's what you implied. Your characterization of (all?) Indians as brutal seems to be in the context of justifying the Europeans' treatment of them. [Of course, there are a couple of problems with your thinking here. First of all, not all of the hundreds of Indian nations engaged in slavery, wars of aggression etc., though some did. Secondly, if pointing out that some ethnic group has done evil things justifies exterminating them, understand that this leads to an unending cycle of genocide. The same "reasoning" would justify the genocide of all Americans, then the genocide of whoever killed us, etc. ad infinitum. But something tells me that if, e.g., the Chinese did to us what we did to the Indians, you wouldn't be keen to wave their flag.]

3. Thanks for illuminating the darkness at the heart of the American psyche by responding to my attack on genocide and slavery as if that constitutes an attack on the USA. I couldn't have put the connection more clearly myself, and you did it without even trying!

4. Thanks for giving a brief list of the sort of feel-good misconceptions that make up the myth of national righteousness, so popular in the USA as well as many other countries ("...freedom, liberty, peace and prosperity..").

There's not space here to educate you out of the patriotic mythology and into an honest understanding of American history and policy. I'd offer a reading list, but I suspect you don't want your bubble popped. So I'll content myself here with a few comments:

It's unclear why you thought my smoking weed was relevant to the discussion at all. For the record, I don't do it nowadays, but I used to. When I smoked weed, I had to be careful not to be caught by the US government, which would happily have made money by criminalizing me and jailing me, substantially ruining my life in the process. So it's ironic that you bring up the subject of weed in the context of your starry-eyed rhapsodizing about how "free" we are in this country, LOL!

The idea that you consider a freedom fighter like Sitting Bull less worthy of memorialization than a genocidal slave owner like Washington speaks volumes about your values, and what is says isn't pretty.

Note that some of your arguments are the same arguments people are offering in support of the Confederate flag. If they justify waving the one flag, they must justify waving the other.

You invoke "...our ability to surmount our deficits and advance toward our ideals." But you seem oblivious to the fact that that must start with admitting (and not justifying) our brutalities. Rationalizing them and venerating the perpetrators is a recipe for continued brutality, not a path to "surmount(ing) our deficits and advanc(ing) toward our ideals."

1 like, 0 dislikes
Posted by Dixon Wragg on 07/27/2015 at 1:37 AM

Re: “Unfair

I couldn't agree more!!!

Posted by tina.green 6 on 07/26/2015 at 6:46 AM

Re: “Flag Waiving

I have a suggestion: don’t stop at not saluting. Take it up a notch to show you really mean it: Pack your duffle bag and move your ass to the first country you find that has brought more freedom, liberty, peace and prosperity to the world.

The notion that Sitting Bull should replace Washington on Mount Rushmore is absurd.
The Indians weren’t brutal? They didn’t kill or take over other nations or own slaves? Pure pablum.

The greatness of America lies not in our innocence, but in our ability to surmount
our deficits and advance toward our ideals.

To that end 38 million Americans gave their lives to end slavery and genocide and fight
fascism and communism so you could sit in your house in Cotati and smoke weed and
write letters about how horrible the US is.

You can salute them.

1 like, 0 dislikes
Posted by jim bracco on 07/22/2015 at 1:12 AM

Re: “Flag Waiving

Thanks you for a clear, true message. I agree with you 100%

1 like, 0 dislikes
Posted by Susanna on 07/21/2015 at 8:45 AM

Re: “Flag Waiving

Oh boy, I really mis-understood! I thought "truthiness" was Colbert's word for truth, but that was my assumption. Anyway, I do see you as truth warrior who uses logic and reasoning as your basic platform for discussion. I've always respected that, and your writing skills.

I completely missed the pun of "waiving", so thanks for enlightening me! My editor persona took over....

2 likes, 0 dislikes
Posted by Sandra Murphey on 07/17/2015 at 6:55 AM

Re: “Flag Waiving

Thanks for speaking out, Dixon... I appreciate reading your thoughts and enjoy your humor as well... Bruce Schmidt in Occidental

2 likes, 0 dislikes
Posted by Bruce Francis Schmidt on 07/16/2015 at 8:50 PM

Re: “Flag Waiving

To Sandy Murphy: I spelled it "waiving" because it's a pun.
Incidentally, I don't think "truthiness" is a good thing. I have the impression that "truthiness" means something like propaganda or convincing BS. Am I wrong?
As always, thanks for your support.

1 like, 0 dislikes
Posted by Dixon Wragg on 07/16/2015 at 2:26 PM

Re: “Flag Waiving

Good on you Dixon! You are "truthiness" personified! Colbert would be proud! Is the spelling correct in the title? It looks odd to me.

1 like, 0 dislikes
Posted by Sandra Murphey on 07/16/2015 at 11:43 AM

Re: “To Boldly Go

I've had the pleasure of reading a lot by D.T. Allison, and he never fails to amuse and fascinate me.

Posted by Kathy Greene Culley on 07/09/2015 at 9:12 AM

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