Sarah Liz Uyehara's letter needs to be published in the Press Democrat as well as the Bohemian to reach the larger audience. I blame the Press Democrat for the negative and damaging reporting on Efren Carrillo from the beginning. They shaped reader's ideas into believing that Efren intended to harm his neighbor and that he is a sexual predator. That's ridiculous! A male or female (especially a drunk one) wanting sex is not sinister, evil, nor abnormal.
An important element that was conveniently glossed over was that when the police arrived, Efren was away from the apartment, he was leaving. He was NOT trying to force his way into the woman's apartment and he did not "rip off the screen" as some have said. he put his hand through it trying to knock on the window. Poor judgement, yes. Criminal? No.
Anyone who has experienced alcoholism first hand (and binge drinking has it's own complexities) can understand that what happened that night was not something a sober Efren Carrillo would do. Poor judgement was fueled by his disease.
He has taken responsibility and I commend him for baring his soul and not trying to cover anything up, like most politicians do. He has done great work professionally and I support him and his decision to press on.
I was deeply moved by Sarah Liz Uyehara's letter in this week's Bohemian. As someone who has worked in the restorative justice field, everything she said resonated with restorative justice principles. It was a beautiful and inspiring letter.
The reality is that until we stop stigmatizing, shaming, judging, and punishing people for making mistakes in judgement, people will not be able to look at their (and our) behavior realistically nor will they (or we) be able to make true amends and be welcomed back into their (and our) communities. Do we really want to permanently exile people for stupid, drunken behavior? Yes, I know the officer involved said that Efren really wasn't drunk, but without a blood test, how would he know for sure? Efren has admitted he was a binge drinker; most binge-drinkers have black-outs. The description of his strange behavior on that night definitely sounded like black-out behavior. It's also obvious that by doing what he did, he scared the crap out of himself. It was his "bottom" in 12-step parlance; only one direction was left to him: up. And he has been moving in that direction ever since, to his credit.
I have been appalled at the vitriol and open hatred directed at Efren, especially by this allegedly "enlightened" community. Turns out this "progressive" area isn't so open-minded and openhearted as they like to think they are. Seeing the picture in the Press Democrat yesterday of a father holding what looks like a three year old in his arms while his face is contorted with rage as he hurls judgement and shame at another human being, I couldn't help but wonder what lessons that child is learning about human behavior.
I've read postings on local online bulletin boards and letters to editors that claimed knowledge of terrible motivations for Efren's behavior; many were filled with coded racist and bigoted language. People jumped to all kinds of conclusions without real proof that their conjectures had any basis in fact. The revenge fantasies were incredibly disturbing.
Believe me, I do not, nor will I ever condone the kind of behavior Efren displayed on that night last July, but this young man showed tremendous courage Tuesday listening to not only the other supervisors chastise him, but he also sat through what looked like what one observer called " a public stoning with words." For THREE HOURS. All this after he displayed sincere remorse, talked about what he is doing to change himself for the better, and expressed understanding that what he did was a huge mistake and was very wrong.
People have been very upset about Efren's initial behavior of getting an attorney, refusing to comment, and going into rehab immediately. What many people do not understand about our justice system and why Efren did this, and then pleaded "not guilty" is that the justice system is adversarial; there is no room for sincere admission of guilt, expression of remorse, any kind of apology or making of amends to the victim with an expectation that that open honesty will be rewarded with a thoughtful, unique-to-the-situation response. Not with mandatory, cookie cutter sentencing in place and certainly not with a public "out for blood." I am sure Chris Andrian explained this to him.
I have facilitated restorative circles where a young person has laid their soul open to a room full of people who they knew hated them for what they had done and I have seen those victims who were filled with hatred soften and begin the process of forgiveness, because they have seen the sincerity in that young person's eyes. I've seen that same sincerity in Efren's eyes; he cannot hide the shame and remorse he feels and that is such a good sign that he has already changed for the better.
Too bad a restorative process wasn't done instead of a trial. And too bad he was tried and convicted in the public sphere and by the media before he got anywhere near the courtroom. I venture to say that the outcome would have been much more healing for the victim, her family and friends, as well as Efren, his family and friends, and the community.
Sarah Liz Uyehara in her Letter to the editor of May 7th has put into words exactly what I think and feel about our 5th District Supervisor. Of all of the news articles and letters to the editor I have read on this topic, Ms. Uyehara's letter has me jumping for joy!
I will applaud any person who is taking the steps to become healthy by confronting their addiction and by making decisions every day in a most brave and often difficult fashion to stop imbibing.
I have siblings who are alcoholic and a father who was alcoholic. I am thrilled that Mr. Carrillo is on the road to recovery . I wish him well, especially considering the onslaught of reprimands and demands he is meeting at every turn.
I am not in denial of his absurd and demeaning actions under the influence and neither is he.
I am also not making light of what happened and the people that were on the receiving end of his bad behavior. I have made many hurtful mistakes too.
Stay in office, Efren. Do what you must to stay sober and in 5 or 10 years from now when you have effected considerable change in your life, this judgmental brouhaha will be behind you. Know that some of your constituents are proud of you and want you to stay in office.
I am 100% behind you in this difficult and challenging time.
If Efren Carrillo were truly concerned about taking responsibility for his actions, changing his evil ways, making amends with Jane Doe and serving as a role model for our youth, he would have resigned a long time ago and spared this county and its good, dedicated, hardworking people the pain and agony that has been the end result of his SECOND run-in with the law. It is clear that he needs to spend time working on his demons, but until he makes the decision to put the people and this county AHEAD of his own insatiable desire for his own political and personal self-aggrandizement, he will not be able to do so. And, quite frankly, I don't want him doing this on my time - and on my dime. He has had plenty of chances to make amends and has failed miserably at each one of them - including at yesterday's Board of Supervisors meeting, where he continued engaging in his now-familiar version of "the blame game," blaming his current political woes on his now-plentiful political detractors. Supervisor Shirlee Zane described it as "reprehensible," and I couldn't agree with her more if I tried.
He is setting a tumultuous example of bad behavior to the community he represents! This is not high school! Grow up!
Thank you for saying I was eloquent, but as I recall I suggested that he deserved to have his day in court, which now he has.
Call it "The Santa Rosa Winds"?
Thank you for stating in unmistakably clear language that which needs to be said about this misogynistic, egotistical, arrogant, self-centered excuse of a man. The fact is that any mere mortal among us would have been slapped with multiple and varied charges for committing such heinous acts against not one but THREE innocent women in their apartment. But not only does he walk away with a not guilty verdict for the most minimalistic charge which was brought - the laughable crime of "attempting peeking" - but he STILL has the support of some misguided elected officials and respect of some supposed community leaders. This is, indeed, a sad commentary on the shortcomings of not only our criminal justice system, but also underscores the callous and brazen disregard that some people have exhibited for a woman's right to feel safe in her own home.
Please sign and share the following petition, being sent to Carrillo and copied to the Board Of Supervisors – Carrillo needs to resign:
Juror 1679, note after lunch to judge said something like, upon further reflection during lunch, would it be possible to resume deliberations, even though the verdict form(s?) has already been completed, (and signed?) We know which juror that was, one of the 10 women
Nicolas, this post appears to need a bit more proof reading, you must have been dazed by your experience in the courtroom today! I do thank you for your recap and timely tweets to keep us all up to date on the daily adventures of our virtuous and so very humble supervisor.
What a scumbag. He should be in jail for attempted rape. No justice
Sonoma County Is Corrupt. If Erick Gelhaus And Carrilo Will Walk. 1 for mudering andy lopes the other becaause he is into politics
Furthermore, he admitted to "peeking" in an interview with a detective, and that he wasn't drunk, just buzzed and amazingly he didn't even know the woman's name.
Just a heads-up to the headline to the headline department: The Green Music Center is in Rohnert Park, not Cotati!
They have no web page for 2014 music.
The David Luning Band is playing at Sebastopol's Apple Blossom Festival this Sunday from 3PM - 5PM at the Back Stage!
I boated past there many time growing up. It's part of the fond memories I have of the area. People who didn't live on The River would always say how tragic it must have been to be flooded in. We River Rats knew it was just part of winter on The River. The bigger floods were always bad. That intersection, however, flooded at least once a year when I was a kid and there would always be a picture in the news with the caption saying something to the effect that flood victims were fleeing. A lot of the time, though, it was people like my family boating to the bridge so we could get groceries. Then we'd boat back and drive home.
Yes and sadly my father, Bob Lucas passed away in 1999 after a courageous fight with Leukemia but I remember many many days and nights either hanging out at "The Paper" and hanging out at Dominic's as kids :)
Jackie's correct, it was directly across the other side of drake road from pee wee golf all 3 were there during this time (J's, Pee Wee, Abby's). Abby's was home of a huge super slide and at one point had an arcade, that's all I remember :)
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