September 6, 1999
J. Crew Customer Relations One Ivy Crescent Lynchburg, VA 24513-1001
Dear J. Crew:
I'm under a lot of pressure. It seems that no matter how many barn jackets and roll-neck sweaters I purchase, I can never enjoy myself as much as the people featured in your catalogs. Who are these people anyway? They look like participants of the Nuremberg rally, yet there's always one stunning mulatto thrown in for good measure. Few family events I've been to look anything like this, but I'd be the last to complain. Anything beats three Irish geriatrics cursing Queen Victoria for letting their ancestors starve. My family is so dull it can't even express hostility toward events occurring in its own lifetime. My grandchildren will undoubtedly listen to me lambaste Carnegie and his Pinkertons.
I understand that beautiful people sell more clothes than my grandmother. I don't mean to seem unduly hard; there are much uglier people than my family. Ever go to the Binghampton crafts fair? My suggestion is only that you produce a catalog for the rest of us. No one in it should be more beautiful than Betty White of Golden Girls fame, and certainly no one uglier than former New York state Senator Al D'Amato. Photogenic scenes might include returning appliances to Wal-Mart, paying tolls on the Garden State Parkway, and the clipping of toenails and coupons. This could be a catalog people could relate to. How about it?
Sincerely, Kenneth Cleaver
September 16, 1999
Kenneth H. Cleaver 33 Upland Road South Bedford, NY 10506
Dear Mr. Cleaver:
Thank you for contacting J. Crew with your comments about our catalog. We appreciate you taking the time to tell us what is on your mind and have forwarded your suggestions to our Editorial Department for further consideration.
Complete satisfaction with all your J. Crew purchases is our primary concern. If you have any questions or need further assistance, please contact our Customer Relations Department toll-free, at 1-800-932-0043, or via the Internet at http://jcrew.com. We look forward to serving you again in the future.
Sincerely, J. Crew Customer Relations
From the June 7-13, 2001 issue of the Northern California Bohemian.