Ich Bin Ein . . .
It's especially disappointing that President Cheney will not speak at the Republican Convention, since his German has been coming along so well.
The official story of what happened on 9-11 would have fit nicely in your "Conspiracy Issue" last week ("Down the 9-11 Rabbit Hole," Aug. 27). A conspiracy is when A and B conspire against C, hence the official story. In fact, the word "conspiracy" itself has been completely vilified.
In the days following 9-11, Bush said, "Let us never tolerate outrageous conspiracy theories," yet here is what he also said:
• They said there were cell-phone calls from the planes. This was not possible in 2001 at 30,000 feet traveling at 400 miles an hour. (Calls cannot transfer between towers fast enough.)
• Barry Jennings, working in WTC7, reported explosions and dead bodies in WTC7 before either Tower 1 or Tower 2 fell.
• How can the Pentagon be struck one hour and 20 minutes after the first strike in New York?
• Insiders bought put options on American Airlines and United Airlines specifically days prior to 9-11. Put options are bets that the stocks would fall. These trades were 25 times the amount of regular trades for these companies in the past.
• The new NIST report on WTC7 had to blame a "new phenomenon" and rely on computer models that don't show the entire collapse to its finish.
Thanks for taking time to address this most important issue.
Devil Went down to Georgia?
Was The Bohemian's "Conspiracy Issue" penned before the so-called 'Georgia Crisis' unfolded? It has all the makings of a five-star classic conspiracy. Golly, just look at all the "coincidences":
• There just happened to be joint U.S.-Georgia military exercises 23 days prior to Georgia's invasion of South Ossetia. These joint exercises were announced July 15, were to involve 1,200 U.S. servicemen and 800 Georgians, and to last "about three weeks." (Just off-hand, I'd have to guess the Georgians didn't take very good notes).
• Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice just happened to have been in Tbilisi on July 9 for talks with Georgian president Saakashvilli.
• Karl Rove just happened to be attending the fifth annual Yalta European Strategy Conference in the Ukraine July 10&–13. Also in attendance: Georgian president Saakashvilli.
• Republican presidential candidate John McCain's principal foreign policy adviser is Randy Scheunemann, who just happens to have been until very recently the main U.S. lobbyist for Georgia.
• Joseph R. Wood, Cheney's deputy assistant for national security affairs, was in Georgia shortly before the war started.
Me, I'm sure there are perfectly reasonable explanations to all of the above, and that the Bush White House will think of them subsequently.
Dept. of Corrections
Whether it was due to his awkward ownership of an unusual commercial domain, the fluoride-free drinking water in his cup, that weird crap in the jet trails outside his window, an overly ambitious public radio program blaring from his computer, the Satanists putting babies on spikes in the nearby redwoods, the Tin Hat league west of town, the black witch pulling joe or the ramblings of ol' Prickly Pete—something addled poor P. Joseph Potocki whilst penning his "Down the 9-11 Rabbit Hole" piece, causing him to errantly place the people's historian, Howard Zinn himself, in the anti-9-11-conspiracy category. Dr. Zinn thinks that things are fishy indeed. We apologize for Potocki's strange mistake and vow to get to the bottom of it immediately.
Abducted by aliens