.Hunky Masa

Women want him. Men want to be him. But all he wants is a good tamale. This summer, Ben Flajnik is the Hungry Bachelor.

As the star of one of the highest-rated seasons of ABC’s The Bachelor, the Sonoma winemaker returns to the public eye in a nontelevised, non-taped episode of the hottest non-existent reality show ever not made. On Cinco de Mayo, Flajnik must make a choice: which tamale will win his heart, and the last and final rose? From which Mexican state will it hail? Will it be made by a sweet, loving abuela with a generations-old recipe? Or a hot, young newcomer who watches a lot of Food Network?

Univision news anchor Maria Leticia Gomez is also judging the tamales, reporting her findings accurately and without bias. And the panel is rounded out by Randy Jackson of American Idol, who will proclaim each tamale more fantastic than its predecessor by saying, “Yo Dawg, that was literally da bomb.” (OK, OK, that one’s fake—Randy Jackson will not be there.)

Will Flajnik take part in the ballet folklórico? Will attendees agree with the panel’s tasting results? Will the combination of bouncy houses and pork-filled masa torpedoes turn out to be a bad idea? Find out on Sunday, May 5, at Cornerstone Gardens. 23570 Arnold Drive, Sonoma. Noon to 5pm. $15–$25. 707.480.1805.

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